Russell Simmons Tried It With The #NotMe Movement, As An NYPD Investigation Begins

December 15, 2017 / Posted by:

In one of the mostly spectacularly tone deaf moves I’ve seen in #thesetryingtimes, Russell Simmons has started his own #movement on Instagram in an effort to express his innocence and defend himself against multiple allegations of sexual assault. Are you ready for the dawn of #NotMe?

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Make Sure Your Mourning Veil Is Dry Cleaned And Ready To Go By May 19, 2018

December 15, 2017 / Posted by:

By the way, that headline note was for me and only me, probably.

The milking of Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle’s wedding details produced a tiny drop last month when Kensington Palace announced that they will get married at St George’s Chapel sometime in May 2018. It was rumored that they were going to try to steal the spotlight from dead American soldiers by getting married on Memorial Day Weekend. But today, Kensington Palace announced that PHG will marry Meghan on May 19, 2018. (They’ll announce the time at the next milking.) May 19, 2018 is a Saturday, so there goes every British person’s dream that PHG and Meghan will marry on a weekday and it will be declared a Bank Holiday. They fucked you over. Call the British equivalent of your congressman now!

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Angelina Jolie’s “First They Killed My Father” Didn’t Make The Oscar Foreign Film Shortlist

December 15, 2017 / Posted by:

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced their nine-film shortlist for Best Foreign Language Film yesterday (it will be narrowed down to five when the official nominations are announced on January 23rd). Despite getting nominated for a Golden Globe, Cambodian entry First They Killed My Father didn’t make Oscars’ shortlist. Oh no, I’ve seen Maleficent; I know what happens when Angelina Jolie doesn’t get invited to the party. Whoever runs the red carpet at the Dolby Theater might want to prepare for a chance of rain, wind, hail, snow, and possibly fire on Oscar night.

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Birthday Sluts

December 15, 2017 / Posted by:

Don Johnson (68)
Michelle Dockery (36)
Camilla Luddington (34)
Charlie Cox (35)
Brendan Fletcher (36)
Adam Brody (38)
Geoff Stults (40)
Surya Bonaly (44)
Stuart Townsend (45)
Imani (46)
Michael Shanks (47)
Helen Slater (54)
Donna Brazile (58)
John Lee Hancock, Jr. (61)
William Orbit (61)
Julie Taymor (65)
Rodney Bingenheimer (70)
Dave Clark (75)
Cindy Birdsong (78)
Tim Conway (84)

Pic: Playgirl/SO

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Night Crumbs

December 14, 2017 / Posted by:

There’s finally a poster for Ocean’s 8, and my first thought was, “I didn’t know Amal Clooney was in this?” That’s her between Cate Blanchett and Helena Bonham Carter, right? And my second thought was that this band of professional criminals should’ve used their skills to steal more money so that this poster could’ve gotten a bigger budget – Lainey Gossip

Cynthia Bailey is right. The other Real Housewives of Atlanta should’ve saved their mockery for when Kenya Moore gets divorced in six months – Reality Tea 

Jennifer Lawrence wants another Oscar – Celebitchy

RuPaul’s Drag Race has come a long way. The trailer for All-Stars 3 alone looks like it got three times the budget than all of season one. Although, I do miss the Vaseline smeared on the camera lens trick – Towleroad

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Lenny Kravitz Talked About The Time His Wiener Said Hello At A Show

December 14, 2017 / Posted by:

Just in time for Thirsty Thursday comes Lenny Kravitz deciding to dish on the time his dick came out of his pants to see the Swedish sights while he performed in Stockholm.

The whole incident happened in 2015 when Lenny was just feeling the tunes and bent down to shred his guitar. His leather pants split, and out came the (NSFW) trouser empanada. Lenny says he doesn’t let that moment keep him from still going commando.

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