Birthday Sluts

/ June 21, 2019
Meredith Baxter (72) & Michael Gross (72)
Rebecca Black (22)
Sharna Burgess (34)
Lana Del Rey (34)
Kris Allen (34)
Jujubee (35)
Michael Malarkey (36)
Edward Snowden (36)
Jussie Smollett (37)
Benjamin Walker (37)
Prince William (37)
Brandon Flowers (38)
Chris Pratt (40)
Erica Durance (41)

Pic: ABC/Getty

Maggie Ziff (45)
Juliette Lewis (46)
Sonique (51)
Carrie Preston (52)
Gretchen Carlson (53)
Lana Wachowski (54)
Doug Savant (55)
David Morrissey (55)
Marcella Detroit (67)
Mariette Hartley (79)
Maureen Stapleton (1925-2006)
Jane Russell (1921-2011)
Judy Holliday (1921-1965)
Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)
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Night Crumbs

/ June 20, 2019

My dog is almost 17 years old, half-blind, can’t jump on the bed because of joint issues, and sleeps 26 out of 24 hours of the day, and yet he’d still find a way to viciously murder me in my sleep if I put him in this catsuit by another name. With that being said, he’d still work it – OMG Blog

Jesse Williams took a break from tusslin’ with his ex-wife over money to hit Florence, Italy with his current girlfriend Taylour Paige and a stunning gold necklace that was honestly worn better by the nana of my childhood friend Michelle – Lainey Gossip

Let your ears jizz to the sound of Freddie Mercury’s powerful crooning as he sings a previously unheard stripped-down version of Time Waits For No One. And let your eyes jizz while watching him powerfully croon while dressed like a hot Mormon on Casual Friday – Pajiba

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The Newest Carnival Cruise Ship Will Feature An On-Board Roller Coaster

/ June 20, 2019

I guess Carnival Cruise Line is helping James Cameron reverse engineer the sequel to Titanic by launching their biggest ship yet and weighing it down with Guy Fieri hamburgers and a motorcycle-themed roller coaster. According to People, Carnival’s latest sea coffin, dubbed the Mardi Gras, is still under construction in Finland, but it’s maiden voyage is scheduled for October of 2020. Cruisers will be able to enjoy the world’s first, and I predict last, roller coaster at sea. Because why not trust the same people who can’t manage to keep a buffet free of fecal matter with building an onboard iceberg called “BOLT: Ultimate Sea Coaster”. What could possibly go wrong?

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Justin Bieber Really Does Want To Fight Tom Cruise After All

/ June 20, 2019

Hailey Baldwin has a very important job this week, and that’s to watch Million Dollar Baby, Rocky, and any number of other underdog fight movies, and learn how to say the words, “Don’t do it, you’ll never win!” while pounding her fists into his chest. Because it sounds like Justin Bieber really wants to fight Tom Cruise.

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Princess Beatrice Is “Head Over Heels” In Love With Her Boyfriend

/ June 20, 2019

Maybe 2019 will finally be Princess Beatrice’s year. People reports that Michael K’s 5th favorite royal (after Prince Hot Ginge, THE QUEEN, Susan the Corgi and The Original Fergie) is “completely head over heels in love” for the first time since breaking up with her previous boyfriend of 10 years in 2016. Bea’s new beau is “34-year-old multi-millionaire property tycoonEduardo Mapeli Mozzi. People says Edo (as he’s known) and Bea have known each other for years but that the “relationship didn’t turn romantic until recently”. However, this wouldn’t be a story about Princess Bea if there wasn’t a whiff of scandal in the air.

The Daily Mail suggests that Bea and Edo’s romance may have overlapped with the relationship Edo had with his fiancé of three years and mother of his 3-year-old son. I fully expect Bea to start a campaign to collect the world’s trombones and smelt them down into a fiery miasma because Womp, Womp, Womp, Wahhh.

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