Army of Lovers!
In the year 1991, the Swedish trifecta of Eurodance eleganza known as Army of Lovers were the best dressed at the 2018 Met Gala without even knowing it. Army of Lovers was originally made up of Jean-Pierre Barda (the blossom on the left who bloomed in the same garden as Pete Burns), Camilla Henemark (the blossom in the middle who bloomed in the same garden as Pia Glenn), and Alexander Bard (the blossom on the right who looks like Philip Seymour Hoffman as a gay mime). They joined glamorous musical forces in Stockholm in 1987 and had some dance hits in the 90s.
Sir Ian McKellen (79)
Aly Raisman (24)
Neon Hitch (32)
Roman Reigns (33)
Thorgy Thor (34)
Esmé Augusta Bianco (36)
Terra Jole (38)
Joe King (38)
Cillian Murphy (42)
Ethan Suplee (42)
Molly Sims (45)
Lindsay and Sidney Greenbush (48)
Octavia Spencer (46)
Jamie Kennedy (47)
Anne Heche (49)
Stacy London (49)
Mike Myers (55)
Connie Sellecca (63)
Eve Ensler (65)
Jacki Weaver (71)
Frank Oz (74)
Leslie Uggams (75)
Ann Robinson (89)
Dixie Carter (1939-2010)
File under: FINALLY, Some Heart-Lifting News! Tomorrow morning, Harvey Weinstein is probably going to turn himself into the NYPD on sex crime-related charges regarding one accuser. As soon as Harv the Perv pulls up to the station, the cops better run out and handcuff him, because the way to start a holiday weekend off right is with some perp walk pics of Harv. But before the paps get those glorious perp walk photos, the cops better triple knot his bathrobe first – Just Jared
In nearly every pic of Tom Hiddleston and his adorable puppeh, the puppeh is thinking, “Can you believe I have to be seen out in public with this bitch who wore an I Heart T.S. tank?” – Lainey Gossip
Sarah Paulson went pee pee when meeting RiRi – Celebitchy
The only rumor about Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith’s 21-year marriage that has persisted longer than the one about them being swingers, is the one that claims they’re getting a divorce. The divorce rumors seem like a bit of a “So what, who cares?” in the grand scheme of things. But those rumors bother Will enough that he’s started rapping about them.
Will is working on new music, and yesterday, he released a short clip of himself in a studio recording a track called “To The Clique.” I don’t know if it’s because Will is 49, or if it’s some kind of thing he’s trying to do, but for some reason Will now raps like he just finished yelling at the neighborhood kids after he caught them tagging his recycling bins. Unfortunately, he’s gone from rapping about summertime and parents’ lack of comprehension to reciting rhymes that sound like they were ghostwritten by a publicist.
20 years of swag y’all just witnessed
Stop the divorce rumors and mind your damn business!
I get that Will is tired of the rumors, but the part about minding my damn business has me very confused. Will, you can’t tell us to mind our business when you and your family are all too willing to overshare. Here is but a brief list of TMI things I know about Will and Jada: Willow Smith learned about sex by walking in on her parents doing it. Will and Jada might have an open marriage. Jada loves watching her husband fuck on screen. Will takes secret pictures of naked Jada while she’s asleep. Really, Will, you can’t tell us to mind our business and stay out of your personal life when Jada is telling everyone that she’s jerked you off with a grapefruit.
Well, the Tonys don’t even need to bother airing in 2019 because we already know what is going to win them all. Lin Manuel-Miranda must be at the trashiest of dive bars drinking cheap gin and wondering why he bothers looking to history for his muse and inspiration when the shiniest of shining Broadway ideas has been goat yodeling at him for years. Britney Spears is getting a musical treatment, y’all! And it sounds like she’s more than happy to sign off on her songs ruling the Great Cheeto White Way!
Us Weekly says Brit Brit took time out of her busy schedule of fashion shows and boyfriend humping on Instagram to fly to New York for a table read of an upcoming musical based on her songs. ABBA must be quaking in their boots because “Mamma Mia” is going to look like Scranton Community Theater compared to “Barefoot At The Gas Station” or whatever it is they want to call Brit’s musical (the working title is Hit Me Baby One More Time). A snitch says the musical is expected to drop in early 2019 and it’s been in the works for a while. Britney even likes it, as the source said she “responded really well” to it. I’m sure that was partially because her manager promised her they could go to the Times Square Olive Garden afterward.
Britney is going back to Las Vegas in early 2019 to begin her residency at the Park Theater, but I think she’s missing an opportunity here! The same Broadway snitch says the role of Britney hasn’t been filled yet! And if Bernadette Peters, Patti Lupone, and Bette Middler can’t do it, who better to play Britney than Britney?!
Mrs. Rojo Caliente Vows To Continue To Run For Governor Even Though She Lost The Democratic Party Nom
The blacklist at the admissions office of Heaven just got a lot, lot longer with the names of the evil morons who dared to vote against Cynthia Nixon for governor of New York. A vote against Cynthia Nixon is a vote against Rojo Caliente, and a vote against Rojo Caliente is a vote against everything that is good and holy. Those dumb fucks are going to realize they made a mistake when they end up in Hell and find out that the only thing served in the Ninth Circle cafeteria is Sandra Lee’s Kwanzaa Cake.
As we all know, Cynthia is running for governor of New York against the current governor of New York, Mr. Sandra Lee (aka Andrew Cuomo). I’m not a Citizen of New York anymore and Cynthia isn’t really qualified to be the head of NY, but she still has definitely won my vote for three reasons: 1. She’s married to ginger angel Rojo Caliente. 2. She wants to legalize the good shit there. 3. She’s married to ginger angel Rojo Caliente.
Cynthia has been running as an anti-establishment Democrat, and her message is that New York needs a big change. The New York Democratic Party probably shook with fear over “big change” and continued to show that they’re allergic to shaking shit up by overwhelmingly voting to endorse Cuomo. Who cares about them! Cynthia Nixon has already won the support of Samantha Jones and that’s the only endorsement that matters!