If you can believe a royal snitch, we’ve been getting the story about the Kensington Palace smackdown somewhat wrong. After all these months hearing from tabloids and such about Duchess Kate and Duchess Meghan fighting, we’re now hearing that Kate may not be the one “mysteriously” leaving YouTube clips of Meghan opening briefcases on Deal Or No Deal up on the royal family’s Apple TV. Nick Bullen, a longtime royal filmmaker, is out saying the real fight is between Prince Harry and Prince William. Cue up the “Harry Hid All Of William’s Rogaine During Holiday From Hell!” headlines.
All together now: RUUUUN, CAT, RUUUUUUUUUUUN!
30-year-old Shane Dawson (pronounced “WHO?!” to us olds) is one of the biggest (and probably one of the richest) YouTubers with over 21 million subscribers. And like many big YouTubers, he has mouth sharted up some foolery which he has had to give a totally real and genuine apology for. Shane had to put on his best sowwwy face to apologize for doing blackface repeatedly and for things he’s said about pedophilia. And yesterday, Shane, who came out as bisexual in 2015, had to once again try to save his YouTube Kingdom with a sorry after a clip came out of him telling the tale of the first time he got on pussy, and by pussy I mean an actual cat. Again: RUUUUN, CAT, RUUUUUUUUUUUN!
Judgmental House-Flipping Gay, Jeff Lewis, is getting some good news this week. The woman he used as a surrogate to birth his daughter, Alexandra Trent, has dropped her lawsuit against him, his ex Gage Edward, and Bravo for humiliating her and dissing her cooch on national television. Also good news for Jeff: there’s a two-for-one Botox special at his dermatologist’s office.
When I heard that there may be some type of romance taking place between Diddy and Lori Harvey,I thought to myself, “Who the hell is she?” After learning that she’s Steve Harvey‘s stepdaughter, my next question was, “Isn’t she half Diddy’s age?” But Diddy has spoken out about the rumors and wants everyone to know that he is still very much single and Lori will not be filling the spot Cassie left vacant after she finally threw up the peace sign and made her exit.
Remember how at the beginning of the month Pimp Mama and Demon Queen extraordinaire, Kris Jenner, teased Kylie Jenner‘s upcoming subplot on Keeping Up The Clock Ticking Down To The Apocalypse With The Kardashians when it was reported that Travis Scott was maybe cheating? Well honey, that storyline might have made it all the way from subplot to main stage, as sources are still whispering their demonic songs to TMZ who will listen to anyone with tea to spill on spawn from the hell-dimension. AKA: The Kardashians.
Nick Jonas, and now Chris Hemsworth, I guess, need to step up their gay baiting antics if they want to keep up with master gay baiter J.K. Rowling who has been trolling fans with man wizard-on-man wizard action for over a decade. J.K. said in 2007 that Dumbledore is gay. And while promoting their movie Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald last year, both Jude Law (who plays young Dumbledore) and Ezra Miller talked about the gayness of Dumbledore with Ezra saying that the movie makes his sexuality explicitly clear because he sees his secret lovah Grindewald (played by Johnny Depp in lazy Billy Idol cosplay) in a mirror (????). And now J.K Rowling is here to troll us some more by saying in so many words that Dumbledore has definitely grinded his dick against Grindewald’s brown sugar walls before.