The best part of The Meg was Jason Statham shirtless and/or in a very snug wetsuit. But the movie would have been SO MUCH better if this had been the actual storyline. People reports that Mariah Carey (“Mimi” to her friends, lovers, and lambs) was trying to have what was probably her 3,000th vacation this summer on a yacht when a finny friend swam up to say hello. Instead of saying hi to Mr. Shark and going on about her luxury, Mimi waxed overly dramatic and began filming her visitor for Instagram. Jesus, it’s not like she had to go in a shark cage or something. (You really can’t wear stilettos in a shark cage. Safety first.)
What Mimi isn’t realizing is that one of her children probably bypassed the parental controls she put on their tablets after the dog incident and ordered that shark as a yacht pet. Sharks as rich people pets are a big deal right now
Kevin Spacey, right? He was that guy who was on the biggest show on Netflix and then we all found out he was an alleged huge pervert and he got fired from that same hugely popular show? You remember. Well, he had a new movie called Billionaire Boys Club that was supposed to be released but after all the shit hit the fan, and then continued to hit the fan, they decided it would be best to not make such a big deal about the whole thing.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, the movie was released on Video-On-Demand last month and then it was decided to quietly open the film this Friday. They must have fucking whispered about it in a soundproof room located in the Earth’s core, because absolutely NO ONE heard about it and the movie brought in a staggering $126 on opening day.
Kim Cattrall was right! Her former Sex and the City co-star Sarah Jessica Parker IS that “positivity on the outside/heartless evil cackling within” chick that she’s accused her of being. The Blast reports that SJP got snippy at a shoe event after discovering that a 14-year boy was filming her without her express permission. It’s shoes, it’s not like the young man was filming you on the can, SJP.
Quick update on the Miranda Lambert-dating-a-married-man situation. I have to call it a situation and not a scandal, because let’s be real: this happens all the time.
This post couldn’t get any more 90s if it was wearing a choker and Doc Martens while listening to a Veruca Salt record and fantasizing about Jordan Catalano. In Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves played Mina and Jonathan Harker, a young Victorian-era couple being terrorized by a bouffant-wearing Dracula (played by Gary Oldman). In one scene, while Drac is back home in London and eating her bestie, Winona marries Keanu’s character in a Romanian wedding ceremony. EW is reporting that the ceremony might have inadvertently been real.
Things got scary when a structure collapsed at a Backstreet Boys concert in Oklahoma yesterday, dropping a metal awning on concert-goers. At least 14 people were injured, according to ET. No deaths or serious injuries were reported. There’s probably a lame joke here about Backstreet Boy Howie Donough’s gas blowing down the pavilion but a total of 10 ambulances reportedly showed up so we’ll put a pin in such a childish supposition for now.