That’s a lot of potential pies. Steve Geddes of Boscawen, N.H. won 6K at the Deerfield Fair for growing the biggest pumpkin in North American history, according to Time. That pumpkin is the most impressive thing to come out of New Hampshire since their tax free liquor. In fact, they should put the pumpkin out in front of the NH State Liquor Store so when the cheap among us (why are you all assuming it’s me) drive over their border to buy their TAX-FREE booze, they can also check out Mr. Geddes’ mutant nightmare of a pumpkin.
The thing weighs 2,528 lbs.! It beat out the last one which weighed 2,363 lbs.! You’d think we’d feel the tremors here in Boston when they had to roll those babies around to get them on the crane to life them on the scale.
There’s an organization called The Great Pumpkin Commonwealth that decides all the giant mutant pumpkins decisions. They informed the Boston Globe that the Geddes pumpkin is not just the largest pumpkin ever grown in North America. It’s also only 100 lbs. short of the weight of the biggest pumpkin grown in the world.
In 2016, Mathias Willemijns of Belgium, set the current world record with a pumpkin that tipped the scales at 2,624 pounds, according to the Guinness World Records.
Do they have to preserve this pumpkin and not carve it up to make the biggest jack o’ lantern in the world? Probably. If not, and if they want to remain newsworthy, they could carve it into something off of this list. That would probably make the news again.
Just in case you guys wanted to share this story, thought it was really cool. Last night at the Deerfield fair there was a new U.S record pumpkin weighed at 2528 pounds beating the previous one of 2363 pounds. It was grown by a grower of Steve geddes From N.H. pic.twitter.com/B2aSKqYsKp
— Henry Swenson (@HenrySwenson) September 28, 2018
The most interesting thing to air on a screen this weekend was what appeared to be Lindsay Lohan attempting to kidnap a child and streaming it on Instagram Live. LiLo was reportedly in Moscow in the video (which has now been taken down). In it, she offered help to a homeless family whom she described as “Syrian refugees,” and chased after them when they turned her down and tried to get away from her. After accusing them of human trafficking, she tried to snatch one of the kids. The child’s mother went after Lohan physically to get her to leave them alone. It worked, Lohan cried, and now she’s actually standing by this video, according to The Blast.
The bleach poured on my fingertips, eyeball holes, brain stem, nerves, basically all of the parts of my body (down low included) is still dripping after writing about SNL covering the Brett Kavanaugh hearings in DC, and before it even has a chance to dry I must now turn our attentions over to the shady dealings of Hollywood. I never thought I’d long for a day where the most exciting headline would be “Chris Pratt And Katherine Schwarzenegger Eat Potato Salad After Church“, but alas we are living in a new day where the cockroaches have no where to run when the lights turn on, so instead of a potentially saccharine headline, we are left instead with “Kevin Spacey Is Being Sued For Allegedly Groping A Massage Therapist“.
Kanye West is now known as “YE” (we’ll get to that in a sec) and his name change was but one of several Kanye, sorry, “YE” incidents of his signature egomania this week that culminated in a Yeezus showcase on the season premiere of SNL. Everything seemed to be going pretty well for him until he got around to talking about the MAGA hat he kept donning. That’s when he lost control of the narrative, and by narrative, I mean his mind.
The writers of Saturday Night Live must’ve been chilling out on a tropical beach somewhere sipping margis and jet skiing sans helmets ahead of scripting the premier episode of SNL, because during the past week’s political shit show in Washington, DC, the jokes practically wrote themselves. Most people tuning in last night were expecting a rip on the Brett Kavanaugh hearings, and last night’s Cold Open did just that, with Matt Damon stepping into the starring role of Brett “I Love Beer” Kavanaugh.
The rumors were true! Goop and her fiance of eight months have mindfully coalesced into a dyad! Translation – Gwyneth Paltrow, 46, and Glee and American Horror Story co-creator Brad Falchuk, 47, were married in an intimate yet star-studded ceremony in the Hamptons yesterday.