Ben Affleck is back on the scene post rehab, so you know what that means: back to innocuous interviews with other celebrities and hosts where you talk about non-essential bullshit while promoting a project! Yay! Ben stopped by Ellen and they talked all about his sobriety and, more importantly, that back tattoo that looks like a Meat Loaf album cover barfed all over him.
Lindsay Shookus and Ben Affleck have decided to give things another solid go. Since getting back together, Ben’s buddies have been worried that he’s in a fragile spot with his recovery, and as Lindsay is not sober, they’re afraid this re-pairing might be a bad thing. Well, Ben’s friends can untwist their bunched up panties, because sources claim Lindsay doesn’t drink around Ben. Instead, Ben and Lindsay are pushing aside the booze bottles and welcoming Britney Spear’s favorite drink of choice, the royal Frap. Ok, Ben and Lindsay are drinking boring coffee instead, but hey, at least it’s not spiked with Wild Turkey.
Ben Affleck just can’t seem to stay single for very long. Us Weekly reports that he and Lindsay Shookus are “are totally back on” on after being spotted together over the weekend. Looks like Lindsay finally got her timing right! Neither are still married like they both allegedly were when they first got together back in the summer of 2017. The two were together for a year before they ended things that fateful summer of 2018. Now they’re both divorced! And now that Ben’s working on his sobriety, and not eating cold Jack In The Box fries off of a Playboy model’s chest anymore, he’s almost a catch. Lindsay was smart to let Jennifer Garner swoop in and do the heavy lifting that got him there for her. Thankless work, that is.
Lately, Ben Affleck is probably feeling freer than you ladies feel when you take your bras off at the end of the day. This would be ever since he was able to unyoke HIS boobies from HIS bra aka not having to play florid movie Batman anymore. Ben (who’s also officially divorced and post-rehab) is seemingly feeling so good that he’s even ringing up the woman he dated before shit went downhill for him. The Daily Mail reports that Ben and his Saturday Night Live producer ex-gf Lindsay Shookus were spotted on a Starbucks run together in L.A. yesterday, and Metro reports that they had dinner together last night (pics above). And somewhere, a Playboy model’s single tear has sadly alighted on one surgically augmented breast.
The Batman is dead. Long live The Batman. Ben Affleck can stop patching up his batsuit with Fix a Flat and exhale, because he won’t be returning as The Batman in the upcoming Matt Reeves helmed standalone movie of the same name. This should surprise nobody since Ben’s sloppy brother Casey Affleck already kinda-sorta spilled the beans all down the front of his lumberjack flannel. Also, we could all tell that Ben’s heart wasn’t in it anymore. We’ll never forget when Ben tried to snag an Oscar for his stirring portrayal of STAINS The Dog (Dlisted’s Hot Slut of The Year, 2009) during that press conference with Superman. If Ben still loved The Batman, he would have gotten the Bat Signal tattooed on his back instead of a fire turkey.
The setting for the looonnngggeessttttt, most-drawn out, way-too-conscious uncoupling in failed celebrity marriage history (after Brangelina, of course), Ben Affleck and ex-wife Jennifer Garner’s Pacific Palisades compound has been sold according to People. The most interesting aspect of this long-overdue sale? The buyer! TMZ says Maroon 5 frontman and Blake Shelton love interest Adam Levine bought it from them.