Category: Hot Slut of the Day

Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Terry Lauerman, a wonderful human being!

If you’re a cat lover, get ready to throw your panties at the screen, because this is your dream man. Meet Terry Lauerman, a 75-year-old cat shelter volunteer who goes to the Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary in Green Bay, Wisconsin every day to cuddle and nap with the rescue cats. And you’re probably not going to be able to read the rest of this post, because you threw your panties at your computer and they stuck to the screen.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 20, 2018 / Posted by:

Dramatic Ass Minivan Bear!

If you didn’t at all look at that picture and only looked at the words, then congratulations, you’re one of the rare freaks who only reads the words in a post instead of only looking at the picture and moving on. But if you’re one of those rare freaks, then you probably thought to yourself, “John Travolta drives a minivan?!” But today’s HSOTD is an actual bear.

Nicole Minkin Lissenden of North Carolina writes in the description of the YouTube video that a bear got into her family’s minivan, and after she figured out that a wild intruder had broken in, she ran off.  The bear was trapped inside and the minivan’s automatic doors failed to work at a time when they should really work, so her husband ran to unlock it. As Nicole recorded, her husband unlocked the door, thinking that I don’t know, the bear would suddenly learn how to open up a mini-fucking-van and stroll right out. That didn’t happen.

A bear opened the door to our unlocked van. I unwittingly closed him in, then went back a while later to retrieve something from the car, I realized a bear was inside. After the automatic doors failed to open, my husband had to unlock it with the key. The bear found another way out. We’re alive – our van, not so much!

Here’s the video, and yes, I salute that bear!

I salute that bear, because bitch knows how to make a dramatic exit. Sure that bear could’ve suddenly learned how to open a minivan door and slid on out like a normal, but who wants to be normal when you can be an extra motherfucker? Now THAT is an exit!

Pic: YouTube

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Hot Sluts Of The Day!

September 19, 2018 / Posted by:

The Microsoft Windows Solitaire Decks From The 90s!

You could really tell a lot about a bitch based on the cover of the Microsoft Solitaire deck they chose. If you chose Dracula’s Castle, you were probably a fake goth (because a real goth would never play solitaire since they were too busy speaking to the dead through tarot cards). If you chose the beach scene, you were a basic who had a pink Pee-Chee folder and smelled like Clinique Happy. If you chose the robot, you were a basic who had a plain Pee-Chee folder and thought Boy Meets World was the best show ever. If you chose the Magic Eye card, you were loved drugs. If you chose the fish, you were a cat or a bird. If you chose the hand holding three aces, you were a serial killer (because nobody chose that shit!). And if you chose the gay seashell, you had impeccable taste and also may have mistaken it for a gay ice cream cone or a unicorn turd.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 18, 2018 / Posted by:

Emily Heller!

Emily Heller is a comedian, writer, podcaster, and she’s a producer on Bill Hader’s show Barry, which is why she was at the Emmys last night. Emily Heller can also add “photo agency troll” to her resume, because she carried a purse that made non-Getty photographers drop their cameras, roll their eyes, and keep it moving. Okay, now I know that the sight of an Emily Heller at the Emmys isn’t exactly making photographers shank each other in the throat and break each other’s lenses to get EXCLUSIVE shots of her (they were probably saving those moves to get the first shots of Kiki Dunst’s spectacular nursing chichis), but a good troll move is a good troll move.

Emily tweeted the pics with this caption:

You know who was really excited to take pictures of this purse? @gettyimages. You know who wasn’t? Every other photographer there.

And here’s what the pic of Emily’s watermark purse looks like on Getty’s site with the watermark. Watermarkception!

Getty has been known for being the Taylor Swift of photo agencies, because they will sue a trick for a crazy amount of money for copyright infringement. So Emily Heller needs to fire up a free copy of QuickBooks, because if Getty hits her with a $500 million lawsuit threat for using their logo without permission, she can immediately hit them back with a $501 million invoice for publicity, bitch!

Pics: Steve Grantiz/Wireimage, John Shearer/Getty

Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 17, 2018 / Posted by:

Sony’s Watchman!

Tonight is the Emmys, so it’s a perfect time to pay tribute to an important contribution to television, and by an “important contribution” I mean something that hardly anybody ever had because it cost the price of five healthy internal organs and the quality was slightly better than watching TV on a half-eaten discarded tater tot (not even a full potato, because I’m sure a full potato had better quality as a portable TV than the Sony Watchman).

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 16, 2018 / Posted by:

Tesco Cat!

Who among us hasn’t casually strolled into a grocery store, knocked a box of treats off the shelf, and then took a nap on it? Hell, I may or may not be writing this post on my phone as my head lies on a bag of Hot Fries and my hungover carcass is sprawled out in the middle of an aisle at Ralph’s. That’s just some regular Sunday morning behavior.

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